I have put myself in charge of coming up with a new holiday. I am sick of these amateur holidays. I am sick of listening to people talk about and make a big deal about Valentines Day, St Patricks Day, and New Years Eve to name a few.
If you need a day to show your loved one you care about them by taking her out to a restaurant that can serve anything and give you any service, get out my face. Take him/her out on February 17th and the chef will make you something worth while eating. You will get better service and not be rushed in and out of the restaurant surrounded by a bunch of jokes like Valentines Day offers.
The only thing St Patricks Day has ever brought to the table is its right around March Madness. Its right around spring, so the weather is improving. But you can take your ham and cabbage and bangers and mash back to Ireland. Ill take it more serious when I see Polish day or Italian Day on the calendar.
New Years Eve is the king of amateur hour. The options are go to a bar packed with people who act like its their first time drinking trying to get there moneys worth of the $150 they spent to drink Popov Vodka and Port Royal Rum. You want a beer.. they have Natty Ice and Milwaukees Best on Tap. And thats if you can even get to the bar and get the bar tenders attention. Your other option is to go to some restaurant with people who think there better than the bar scene. They have just paid $300 for a food tasting in which some chef gives you a spoonful of his best dishes. Another option is to go to a party. You go to this party end up being with people you dont like, even worse if its family. Who wants to spend the night with your weird uncle or judgmental aunt telling me how great her kids are. Ill take the option where I stay home, walk around in my underwear, cook my own steak, sip my Grey Goose, and go to bed at 1100. While I am on the topic, what joy does someone get out of going to Times Square, standing out in the cold to watch a ball drop. I dont get it…….
Anyway back to the exciting news. I am coming to you live from the greatest place on Earth- Wegmans with this fantastic announcement. A new holiday introduced this year- National Action Day.
Yes, National Action Day. What is it you are probably asking? Its not for amateurs. Its designed for men. The date is May 2nd, so save it, circle it, block it off. The day goes something like this….
-Wake up have a nice cup of coffee and some breakfast.
-Kiss your wife and kids goodbye and tell them you will see them Sunday the 3rd.
-Go to your local golf course or if you are into fishing grab your pole, or if youre not into either grab your pole for a couple hours and a beverage,
-Enjoy your favorite activity
-Grab a cold beverage with your men and recap the morning.
This looks like a normal Saturday for some but you dont have many lineups for the rest of day that look like this:
WGC Match Play Championships
Manny Pacquiao vs Floyd Mayweather.
So go get your man money out of hiding, use your man points to spend the day with your boys, and tell your wife and kids you will see them on Sunday the 3rd. This is not a holiday for amateurs