Ray Finkle’s Sports Nuts Fantasy Football League

On Saturday night the 2nd season of Ray Finkles Sports Nuts Fantasy Football League commenced with the draft. The second season much like the first was put together half assed. In the end, it was a night away from our significant others, good food, good beer, and good times. To commemorate the night, I kept a running diary which is below. Names are with held to protect those that are my friends.

8:40pm- Names are put into a hat and withdrawn by last years champion. This selection had more integrity than the NBA lottery process.

8:48pm- The first pick of the draft is made by the Wild Card who selected Adrian Peterson.

8:55pm- The 4th pick in the draft went to our buddy Boo- who for the second year in a row decided to go to Florida. His selections were made by the Board of Directors. Being a lifelong Bengals, fans a debate was had whether his first selection should be the Bengals defense as punishment for being absent. He was given Matt Forte.

8:59pm- While Jimmy Graham was taking 6th by the defending champion a discussion broke out led by Bash Brother aka Mr New York on how you can get anything you want in NYC. His quote was that its like a Farmers Market; and this is referring to the female folk

9:08pm- I have the 10th selection and get a pick on snake back in round 2. My first 2 selections are roll of the die with AJ Green and Doug Martin. The league is PPR hence the AJ Green selection. Unfortunately, I have no confidence in the Red Rifle Andy Dalton and the head coach Marvin Lewis is just a flat out loser.

9:16PM- Deadcop takes Leveon Bell with his second pick. He explains that his wife is a Steelers fan and she wont be mad at him. A side discussion takes place as to whether his nuts are in his wifes purse. His cop friend sitting next to him should have nick nacked him

9:20PM- The defending champ takes Drew Brees with his second pick. West Side MVP comments that its a gamble to go with Graham/Brees connection with Graham being pissed over contract. The room thinks Graham will drop balls on purpose to make a statement as If the NFL revolves around Ray Finkles Fantasy League

9:33PM- Andre Ellington running back of the Arizona Cardinals is selected. A question is posed as to who he is taking running back duty in Arizona from- the first answer shouted out is Emmitt Smith

9:38PM- Groundbreaking moment- a discussion begins about the genius of Sam Hinkie. I comment that I could care less what the outcome of the Sixers is I just want to see Sam Hinkie make trades. this leads to talks of 6ers season ticket packages and a new hero the twitter account of Joel Embiid. Sam Hinkie!!

9:46PM- A few of the boys were just at a bachelor party in Atlantic City which leads to a conversation about the state of Atlantic City. The description of Atlantic City is a combination of Syria, Israel, and Saudi Arabia. Its a few months away from looking like Detroit. RIP Atlantic City

9:52PM- The bachelor party the boys attended; that wedding is coming up in a couple weeks. It was explained that the bride to be does not like when the grooms friends get really drunk. West Side MVP says he guarantees a black out and hopes he shits in the middle of the dance floor. He proceeds to place an offer on the table to pay for gas and lodging for anyone to crash the wedding. For details on the offer, contact me

9:57PM- The wedding discussion leads us down a sombering road. West Side MVP explains how shocked he was on how easy and painless it was when he told his wife that he was going to a fantasy draft Saturday night and she would be alone with the little one. This leads us down the road of the doghouse we are all in because of the get together and how many points we all owe our wives just to get back to level playing field

9:59PM- Bash Brother, who is unmarried, steps in and ends the discussion like a referee stepping in to end an early years Mike Tyson fight. Him doing this leads me to ask if everyone think the Alien is taking down the Krusher in November.

10:02PM- A story is told by West Side MVP of seeing Hopkins out. WEst Side MVP was with a crazy friend who asked for a picture in which the Alien declined. The crazy friend wanted to 2 on 1 Hopkins and thought they had a legitimate chance. A discussion begins on how many guys it would take to beat up a boxer. The Wildcard and I agree that Joe Christ may be able to do it 1 on 1 because of how skilled he is with his hands

10:06PM- Deadcop asks why west side guys think they can beat up celebrities. A west sider not in this league a few years back on a beach trip drunkenly went off on how he could destroy Lebron James. Looking back, we wish he did take out the phony.

10:09PM- Angry moment in which the crew realizes that Robin Williams has screwed us out of Mrs. Doubtfire 2.

10:22PM- Toby Gerhart is selected in the 5th round. The question posed: What would you have said if someone told you a couple years ago that Toby Gerhart would be selected in the 5th round of a fantasy draft

10:25- To put the cherry on top of the lack of good running backs in the draft immediately after the selection of Gerhart- Trent Richardson is selected

10:32PM- A failure on my part in that music was not on from the get go. I put on Notorious B.I.G Pandora which completely made up of for dropping the ball on lack of music. Bone Thugs N Harmony comes on which leads us to ponder if they are still together. A comment is made that they are having a reunion show at the Kirby Center

10:39PM- Bash Brother selects Wes Welker. The best facial expression gets awarded to him when told that Welker has a concussion and may be dead. Everytime he was on the clock after that, we were hoping he would select Josh Gordon

10:48PM- The Wildcard explains the situation when youre out at a bar and someone wants to leave but everyone is working on finishing their drink. He states how great it would be to have a friend like Sebastian Janikowski to come in and put all the drinks in one cup and close the deal so every one can leave.

10:51PM- I ask the Glide, Deadcop, and Bash Brother if drinking a mixture of everyones drink would be better or worse than drinking a Chet. The Chet is then explained that it was created in South Bethany. It was 5 drinks poured into a casserole and the 5 drinks were to honor the 5 district titles. Those drinks were Ronrigo Rum, Grain alcohol, Natty Light, Sol, and a terrible whiskey that no one remembers.

11:00PM- The clock strikes 11 and bash brother poses the question who wants to go to Swizzlesticks after the draft to close on some local fare (women)

11:06PM- Premier League discussion and soccer discussion in general between Wildcard and the Golden Child. Leads down the road of the best player in the world whether its Messi or Ronoldo. Its agreed upon that its most likely Messi but what could not reach a consensus was the size of his Johnson

11:12PM- Controversy number 1!!! Bash Brother selects Justin Blackmon. This on the heels of a few round earlier Wes Welker. Justin Blackmon is out for the year. He puts on his attorney shoes and gives his argument for why he should get another pick. After a vote by the directors and bitching at the defending champ for being to nice, he is given another pick- Doug Baldwin. It is guaranteed, Baldwin will effect the outcome of one of the games

11:14PM- Wildcard calls for the trainer as he is not sure he can continue the draft due to cramping. Alright, that was made up

11:16PM- Kudos to the Wild Card for coming out despite a broken foot. However, he gets razzed after telling us to speed up the draft because mommy is picking him up at midnight

11:22PM- Discussion held if the best possible night now at the age of 30- if it is a nice Steak with some red wine followed by a quality cigar and after dinner cocktail.

11:33PM- Bash brother selects Dolphins defense in honor of his long last pal

12:04PM- The last pick of the draft- Mr Irrelevant- kicker Dan Carpenter

The 2014-2015 Ray Finkles Fantasy Football League !!!!


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